A Blundering Captain
It was about 1979 that my wife, Elaine, and I invited Wally and John, both former classmates, to bring their wives and spend a few days with us on "Ramblin’ Rose," cruising the upper and middle Chesapeake Bay. Wally, John and I were all Electrical Engineering graduates of the class of 1933 at Rensselaer (RPI).
Ramblin’ Rose was a 37’ Chris Craft Constellation 1965 fly bridge cruiser, berthed at McDaniel’s Yacht Basin, Northeast, Maryland. In 1969 it replaced our little mini-cruiser, the Duckling. My wife, Margaret, had died in 1975. The following year I married Elaine, and for the second time in my life I had a gem for a wife.
Wally, a highly successful engineer with more than a hundred patents to his name, knew his way around boats. As did his wife. John, engineer for the city of Chicopee, Mass, likewise a highly competent engineer, was a stranger to boats. As was his wife – a stranger, completely so. Therein comes the tale.
As we spent the several days together, I became more frustrated, even annoyed, at John’s wife. An attractive girl, and an otherwise likable girl, she always seemed to be in the wrong place. Every boater who ever had guests aboard knows the experience.
One night at anchor as we prepared to bunk down, I had undressed, put on a bathrobe, and joined the others who were still talking on the after deck. The “problem lady” had left the head and bow compartment doors open, and the motion of the boat had caused the doors to bang together and the handles interlock. I was furious. All the frustration spewed forth and I spoke my mind about behavior on a boat. Elaine pounced on me for my discourtesy and uncalled-for remarks, dressing me down as only an irate wife can. For some reason I still had my underwear shorts in my hand. In a fit of anger I flung them at her. She promptly threw them overboard. She said later she was about to follow them, but shore looked too far away.
A couple of weeks later, I received a package from my friend Wally. In it was a pair of under shorts with corks sewn around the waist band!
Three years ago, my friend Wally died. His family asked me to speak at his memorial service in New Canaan, Conn. There were other speakers at his service, all prominent engineers. As is so often the case with engineers educated in an earlier era, speaking and writing were often way down on their list of abilities. When it came my turn to talk, I told the underwear story. It was the only time there was any laughter in the room.
Moral. No matter the size, boats are intimate things. If you have guests aboard who have had little or no boating experience, brief them first. Be patient and understanding. And remember: the captain should never, never cease being a pleasant and courteous host.
-- Bill Corey